Parshas Mikeitz: Rav Yaakov Kaminetzky - Making Sense of Mechiras Yosef
The story of Mechiras Yosef begs so many obvious questions. Why did Yosef not send a message to his father that he was alive and well once he became viceroy? Why did he torment his brothers and hence his father for an extended period of time? Most of all how could the Shivtei Kah the Kedoshim and Tehorim do what they did to their brother?
Rav Yaakov Kaminetzky answers that the Shevatim truly believed Yosef deserved to be killed and their treatment of him was not borne out of any desire to kill him. The greatest proof is that when Reuven raised the idea of throwing him into a pit and convinced the others that justice would still be served, they instantly agreed. And when Yehuda suggested they spare him and sell him to slavery, again there was no objection. Their treatment of Yosef was a sacred duty carried out with pure intentions and without a shred of personal bias.
Yosef knew this and because of it he didn't contact his father. Since the Shvatim believed he needed to be put to death, upon hearing that he rose to prominence in Mitztrayim they would have immediately gone down to kill him. For this reason he couldn't reveal himself to his brothers. His treatment of them had one purpose in mind, to convince them of the error of their ways. Only when he heard them say (Mikeitz 44:16), "Elokim Matza Avon Avdecha", Hashem has found wrongdoing in us, only then was it finally safe after all these years to say, "Ani Yosef!"